Rural Legends

What do you do if something you need is missing, or perhaps misplaced due to your own personal negligence?

Stick out your right hand. Spit in it. Smack the spit pooling in your hand with the index and middle finger of your left hand. Now carefully watch where the spit flies. That is the direction of where your misplaced item is located. Happy Findings!

This is some quick and quirky old Basotho culture that even the Basotho now know to laugh at. I learned about this when hanging out with a few friends in village, and they began to further satisfy my enquiries into the quirky olden rural legends. Just how we Americans never pick up pennies tail side up, Basotho also have their own unique superstitions.

For instance, what if you did something wrong? Maybe you got a C- on your history paper. Or you took your parent’s car without telling them?

According to Basotho rural legend, there is only one foolproof way to avoid the yelling and the beatings. Pluck an eyelash, and throw it into the bush. Then angrily threaten at the bush-eyelash complex, saying things like, “You have been very bad hair on my eye, if I am punished, I will burn the bush in which you reside.” Done and Done.

Hmm, but what if that actually didn’t do the trick. Maybe you do start getting yelled at. Well the next step to at least not get beaten has a bit more basis. When someone is mad at you and yelling, the worst thing to do is to speak back and infuriate the over-reactant. When Basotho women in olden days did something wrong and wanted to avoid getting beaten, they would hold water in their mouth but not swallow. This would ensure that they wouldn’t react to what the man would say, and let him yell out his thoughts until he was tired enough to forget why he was angry.

I think we all enjoy being odd... 

Also the pictures are...quite random. Enjoy. The monkey was from vacation. The girls are from our schools celebration for great test results. And this one...is just my friend and I being really odd over Chinese food. 

Toilet Paper, Lizards, Cosmos, and a Booze Cruise

Story 1:

One day I was at my local shopong, and decided to buy 4 toilet paper rolls, instead of my usual one in awhile. A student sees me, and my purchases and says, “Sir, you eat a lot.”

Story 2:

I had a gigantic episode in my Form B (9th Grade) class. I dislike saying the word hate, but there are many students in their I would like to hire a hitman to do my bidding, also I think I hate them. Half the class are angels, smart happy cute kids who just want high fives and for me to tell them “Good Job!” But the other half, are vile creatures, constantly picking their noses and talking, passing notes and screaming and have ugly mean faces. I tried making them sit on the floor, making them do push ups, stand in the corner, do squats. I tried talking and reasoning with them. This time, I tried disappointment. I was in the middle of class teaching, no one paid attention. I then yelled, and told them that I will no longer be teaching, only writing notes and had a very somber face. I wrote notes as fast as I could, didn’t look one of them in the eye, any question was met with an ignored shoulder. I kept this up for two days. On the third day, another teacher said he needed to punish (beat) the boys in my class for misbehaving. I told him to not worry, I would handle it. I made the boys lie down on the ground (Basotho hate to sit, or even kneel on the floor) and I told them to go to sleep. They were furious. As I continued being a terrible teacher, I saw a lizard climb on one of the boy’s legs. A girl yells “Moholutsoane!” Every boy and girl screamed as loud as they could and ran outside, in the chaos people trampled each other, and the lizard, and all I could do was try to stare and act cold and bitter. I desperately wanted to laugh. After that day, the kids have been very nice, but also 10 of my students got moved to the new class we created to make classes smaller so I’m not sure if my punishments helped them to be better, or the fact that I have mostly only have the good ones left.

Story 3

An Immaculate Debate

Recently we had a school come for debate, they are called Immaculate HS. They have electricity, and a computer lab, and a science lab. There school is quite immaculate. They are a bit better off than us. But we had the debate of the century at Fobane HS. The topic for the older students was Should Lesotho be merged into South Africa, my Fobane students were given the agreeing side, while Immaculate was given the opposing side. Each side was so well prepared (I helped my side of course) and I was judging so I had to be fair (which I was). Left and Right there were interruptions, students yelling, “Point of Correction” and so forth. It was pouring rain, and the tin roofs were making so much noise, adding only intensity to the debate. At one point, a girl on the Immaculate side said, “South Africa’s economy is not as great as you are saying. People there come to Lesotho for jobs. Just look in front of you.” And she points to me. One of my favorite students, Cosmos, stands up and essentially says, “Screw you, He is American!” Everyone freaked out in the hall. That declarative sentence made my living in Fobane just instantly better. Although we lost that debate, I think my school officially won me over. 

Story 4:

Recently, Worker’s day happened (May 1st) and what an amazing holiday that is. It was essentially an excuse for my fellow teachers and I to have a “booze cruise” on the way to Tsehlenyane National Park. Now, normally it would take me only three hours to travel to the park on my own, with slow public transport. Somehow, it took my teachers and I 61⁄2 hours to reach there. We were supposed to leave at 7am, and we left at 9am. Not too bad. We stopped every 10, 20 minutes because my teachers have the tiniest bladders known to mankind when they are drinking. Every time the car stopped, my teachers would leave the vehicle and “Fahla Moholutsoane” which is “blind the lizard” which is the way people say urinate here. After relieving themselves, we would all dance outside the vehicle for a good 5 minutes, I would learn a few Basotho dances, and then the teachers would leave to go buy more beer. I had no idea, that preparing my liver in college was the most appropriate thing to do to prepare for Peace Corps Lesotho, because it is a challenge to keep up with all my friends here. One time we actually drove for 40 minutes straight, but then I heard someone saying, “Shawn o hloka ho hlatsa.” I learned that to “hltatsa” means to vomit, so I quickly said I was fine, but apparently that was an excuse for everyone to again, leave the vehicle to pee and dance. Once we made it to the park, we were forced to pay 30 Maloti to enter. No teacher really wanted to, I didn’t either, but we travelled 6 hours I figured I might as well. I only make about 2000 Maloti here, or about $200 a month, while my teachers make 9000 Maloti a month. Somehow I paid to enter, but a few of them, and my principal escaped the fee and jumped the fence! They said it was too expensive for them to pay, but they bought more beer somehow. An enjoyable, crazy ride. But it was an amazing way for me to bond more with my teachers! 

It's Starting to Hit Me

Although I am very excited to start my journey, I can't help but begin to think of the things I will be missing in the coming years while I am away from the states. I will definitely be missing weekly sushi, and most of all random epic restaurants. I will miss grilling, and definitely driving my very powerful yet eco friendly Prius. I will miss driving with my knees in EV mode blasting folk-indie songs under 25mph. I will miss free monthly Godiva, being down for whatever, and random ways to waste/spend money. I will miss lots of bojangling and excessive inapropriate jokes and actions. Most of all, I will miss the people I have done all these things with. And in honor of the people I will be missing, I wanted to share their pre-departure thoughts with me that have surfaced through loving text and Facebook messages:

• I think that fortune teller was wrong...gonna get yourself hitched in Lesotho!
• Stay Safe in Africa! Do good.
• Good luck being African. And making a difference in the world. And powering things with your solar powered backpack. You can be solar man for halloween.
• I thought you had left already. Party!
• Maybe I'll get you an inflatable Indian girl. Therefore you will never feel alone or...Lonely...
• Avatar is def inspiration
• Don't get arrested, deported, or make any enemies :P
• I miss you so much it hurts
• I miss our mini adventures and I am soooo nervous!!
• Africa will be an experience...A lot of bucket showers and food poisoning haha
• If you get bit by a snake do not cut or suck the wound, do not elevate the wound, keep it below ur heart.
• Use your allergen to latex as your AIDS prevention talking point.
• Get one for Africa so we can see u from fucking space
• The answer to all of ur questions should be...I'm going to Africa in a week.
• Poor David, now he is gonna get the full force of nagging and complaining, we are gonna drive him crazy while you're gone. :)
• Be safe and have fun man, love you no homo.
• Who knows when you'll decide to return from Mother Africa.
• I had to leave quickly cuz i wouldve cried hehe.
• I am most fucking definitely comin to your going away party. 
• By the time you get back the world might be running on some sort of alternative fuel source...but prolly not...
• No sex with the locals.
• Just do some crunches while in Africa. There's always the floor lololol
• I won't b a tease on our last night (that sounds reallllly gay) lol
• Look at pic 105 from last night. That is my goodbye.

Pic 105

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and I hope to talk to you all soon! Just one full day at home left!